“We Talk More Openly Now”: What the New Monash Study Reveals About Boys, Masculinity and Connection

For years, many people have assumed that teenage boys do not want to talk about the deeper stuff. That they are closed off or hard to reach, and often communicate with a grunt or two.

A new Monash University study tells a different story.

Published in the public health journal Health Promotion International, the study, led by Monash Clinical Psychology PhD candidate Dana Meads, asked 183 boys across 11 schools to share what the Breaking the Man Code workshop was like for them. Our two-hour session aims to challenge the rigid ideas of masculinity that can limit connection and make it harder for boys to ask for help when they need it.

Researchers spent months listening to boys who took part in our Breaking the Man Code workshop. What they found is that when boys are given the right space, they open up, they connect, and many change the way they relate to their friends and family.

Ms Meads said there was initial skepticism at how much boys would be willing to share. What came back changed that thinking entirely: “People doubted that boys would respond to our survey or provide more than one-word answers. What we found, however, was a wealth of articulate young men who provided rich responses about their emotional lives and relationships, and for many, a desire for change”.

The study found that when boys had the chance to talk openly about what was really going on for them, it changed the way they related to the people around them. Many said they felt closer to their mates and were showing more compassion, trust and genuine care. They also spoke about using new social and emotional skills, like active listening, in their everyday lives. A lot of boys said they were more willing to talk to their families too, and wanted a version of masculinity that felt more open, flexible and supportive.

And the boys themselves say it best.

A Safe Space Makes All the Difference

One of the clearest findings from the study was how important safety, trust and atmosphere are. In the workshop room, boys felt they could drop the mask, often for the first time.

“I liked being in an open, safe environment with people who understood what I had been going through.”

“I did not feel alone anymore. The session really bonded the group.”

Many were surprised to realise that the people they sit next to every day were carrying their own stress, sadness or pressure.

The “Step to the Line” activity came up again and again. Boys described it as a way to share something personal without needing to find the perfect words.

“People can open up about darker topics without the use of words.”

This is the heart of the workshop: creating a space where boys do not have to perform anything. They can simply be human.

Redefining the “Man Code”

The study also examined whether the workshop shifted how boys think about being a man. For many, it did.

They described wanting to be more supportive, more emotionally available, and more connected.

“It changed the way that I am allowed to express myself in any way, shape or form, and it does not make me less of a man.”

“The workshop showed me that men can be closer and allow each other to be more sensitive together.”

Others talked about wanting to be more present for their mates.

“I want to reach out to my friends a bit more.”

These might seem like small changes, but for a teenage boy working through identity, belonging and pressure to live up to certain expectations, they are significant.

Better Conversations With Mates

After the workshop, many boys were still using the skills they had learned. This was especially true when it came to talking to friends.

They said they were having deeper conversations, listening more, and feeling more comfortable checking in when someone seemed flat.

“I try to be more sensitive and understanding, figuring out when to stop talking and when to start talking.”

“I don’t ask yes or no questions now when asking how someone is doing.”

“I would say that I am more compassionate talking to my friends now and I am more careful about what I say when I banter with them.”

“I know, and they know, we can trust each other more.”

The workshop helped me know I can talk to my mates about mine and their personal things.”

“We talk more openly about our issues now instead of just being quiet about it.”

“I want to be someone that is there for the people I care about.”

This matters. Peer relationships are a strong protective factor against mental ill-health and suicide for boys. In Australia, young men still take their own lives at three times the rate of young women. Changing the culture around help seeking and emotional expression is not a nice-to-have. It is lifesaving work.

And Better Conversations at Home Too

The ripple effect did not stop at school. The study found that many boys went home and opened up to their families in ways they had not before.

“I release more information than I used to to my family and I find it better to communicate.”

“I am now more keen to talk to my mum about personal stuff. Before, I would just lock myself in my room.”

Some said they felt more appreciative of the people who love them. Others described “having a long talk” with parents about what being a man actually means.

Not every boy changed how he communicated at home, and that is important as well. Some already had strong relationships. Others found it harder because of family dynamics or wider social pressures. This tells us that boys are not a single group with the same needs. They need different approaches, support and time.

What Makes the Workshop Effective?

The study highlighted several elements that boys found especially helpful:

• relatable facilitators who understand them
• non-verbal activities that reduce the pressure to speak
• peer leadership moments where boys step up for one another
• practical listening skills they can use long after the workshop ends

And as our co-founder Paige Campbell reflected, “Every time we run a workshop, we see how ready boys are to have real conversations once we give them the permission to drop their masks.”

Why This Matters for Suicide Prevention

The research confirms what we see every week. Boys want connection. They want deeper friendships. They want permission to show their feelings. When they get that, their wellbeing improves.

Rigid masculine norms, which tell boys not to cry, not to ask for help and not to show weakness, push them into isolation. Isolation is one of the strongest risk factors for suicide.

Creating spaces that encourage vulnerability, empathy and connection is not just positive practice. It is prevention.

As Meads put it: “Our research shows that workshops like Breaking the Man Code can provide spaces where boys report feeling safe to relax rigid social norms. By replacing feelings of shame and stigma with validation and connection, they can increase intimacy, encourage help-seeking, and potentially improve suicide prevention efforts.”

Where to From Here?

The Monash research is still unfolding. More findings are coming from interviews with parents and school staff.

But what these results show is that boys are open. Boys are ready. Boys want more spaces where they can be honest without the pressures of stereotypes.

At Tomorrow Man, we are committed to continuing this work. We want to build environments where boys can grow into healthier, more connected men without fear of judgement or shame.

Because when boys learn to show up honestly for themselves and for each other, everyone benefits.

If you would like to read the full peer-reviewed study published in Health Promotion International, you can find it here.

Learn more about the Breaking the Man Code workshop here.

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