Redefining Success: Men Need More Than Money and Status

What Does Success Really Look Like For Men?

In today’s world, success often gets measured in dollars, job titles, and social status. Society rewards us for climbing higher, earning more, and proving ourselves. But what if success wasn’t just about what you do, but also about who you are?

What if being a great mate, a solid partner, or an engaged dad mattered just as much as a promotion or a flashy car? What if success was about how well you connect with others, the kind of impact you have on the people around you, and the legacy you leave behind?

The problem is, too often, these kinds of questions don’t even come up in conversations about success. Young men, from an early age, are taught to chase money, power, and status without being encouraged to think about whether those things actually make them happy.

A Moment That Shifted the Room

At a recent student workshop, we asked some students about their post-school dreams. The usual answers came in quickly:

“Make a ton of cash.” “Be an AFL hall of famer.” “Own a Lamborghini.”

And then, from the back of the room, one young man hesitated. After a bit of encouragement, he finally spoke up:

“I reckon I’d just like to be a dad one day.”

Cue the awkward silence and a few laughs. But as he explained how he wanted to be a better father than his absent one, something shifted. Suddenly, the bravado dropped. Other boys started opening up about their own experiences with their dads, good and bad.

Turns out, success isn’t just about making it big. It’s about showing up for the people who matter. It’s about being the kind of person others can rely on, whether that’s as a father, a partner, a mate, or a mentor.

Breaking Free from Old-School Masculinity

For too long, masculinity has been boxed into outdated rules. Things like:

“Real men don’t show emotions.”

“You’ve got to be the best. Always.”

“Success equals power and status.”

These ideas, instilled in young men from an early age, limit how they see themselves. They make it harder to talk about things that actually matter, like mental health, relationships, and personal growth.

The Man Box 2024 study by Jesuit Social Services reveals that many young men still feel pressure to conform to outdated masculine norms like being tough, hiding emotions, and proving dominance through success and power. These beliefs discourage vulnerability and promote a narrow, rigid view of what it means to be a man. The consequences go beyond individual wellbeing, they shape the culture we live in, reinforcing a version of manhood that limits emotional connection and authentic relationships. When success is equated with dominance rather than connection, it impacts how men show up in their families, friendships, and communities.

The Science of What Actually Makes Us Happy

Psychologists have been digging into this for years. Martin Seligman’s PERMA model breaks down well-being into five key areas:

• Positive Emotion – Feeling good
• Engagement – Losing yourself in something you love
• Relationships – Deep connections with people
• Meaning – A sense of purpose
• Accomplishment – Achieving goals that actually matter to you

Spot the trend? Relationships, real ones, sit at the heart of a fulfilling life. Strong social ties mean better mental health, longer lives, and even more career success. A meta-analysis found that people with larger social networks report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

A comprehensive meta-analysis by Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010), published in PLOS Medicine, found that people with strong social relationships have a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker social ties. That’s a massive difference, bigger than the effect of quitting smoking or exercising regularly.

Adding further weight to this, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the world’s longest-running studies of adult life, found that strong relationships are the single most important factor in long-term health and happiness. Over more than 80 years of tracking participants, the study revealed that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy, healthy, and fulfilled throughout their lives.

Redefining Success for the Next Generation

If we want young men to live full, balanced lives, we need to rewrite the script on success. That means:

• Encouraging Emotional Literacy – Teaching young men how to understand and express emotions without shame.
• Valuing Diverse Aspirations – Celebrating goals beyond wealth and status, like being a present father, a great mate, or a supportive partner.
• Providing Positive Role Models – Showcasing men who balance ambition with emotional intelligence.
• Fostering Supportive Communities – Creating spaces where young men can be real, without fear of judgment.

When men feel safe enough to express themselves fully, they build better relationships. They become better friends, better dads, better leaders. And when that happens, society as a whole benefits. We all win when men are supported in becoming their best, most emotionally connected selves.

Shifting the Narrative: Success as Connection

What if we started telling a different story? Instead of just highlighting celebrities, elite athletes, and multimillionaires, what if we celebrated the men who were there for their mates? The fathers who put in the effort? The partners who were emotionally present?

This isn’t about tearing down ambition, it’s about broadening its definition. Success should include the kind of legacy you leave in the hearts of the people around you, not just the number in your bank account.

Men should be encouraged to dream big but also to make space for the things that matter most: relationships, emotional well-being, and personal fulfillment.

How Tomorrow Man Is Supporting Young Men

At Tomorrow Man, we’re on a mission to change the script for young men across Australia. Through our student workshops, we create brave spaces for boys to explore a different kind of masculinity, one that values emotional expression, self-awareness, and authentic connection.

Our programs invite students to dig beneath the surface of traditional masculine expectations and start building their own definition of what it means to be a good man today. We challenge the “man code,” break down the bravado, and help young men find the courage to show up as their real selves.

Whether it’s talking openly about mental health, learning to have each other’s backs, or redefining success beyond the paycheck and power trip, our workshops are designed to spark real conversations that stick.

Because when young men feel seen, heard, and supported, they show up differently in their relationships, their communities, and their own lives.

We’re here to help them get there. of success. Because at the end of the day, no one wants to be the richest bloke in the graveyard.

We need to start having these conversations with our mates, our brothers, our sons so the next generation doesn’t just grow up chasing status but actually builds lives they’re proud of.

And that starts with us.

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